Last night we went to a wedding, and the beau proceeded to get kinda… toasty. I brought him home and put him to bed, and while I was finishing up in the bathroom we had the following exchange:
Me: “I feel guilty for eating that pizza at midnight.”
Beau: “You shouldn’t feel guilty. You already had some cheese.”
Me: “What?”
Beau: “I was just preaching. Because nobody bought anything at the parade.”
Me: “Oh yeah?”
Beau: “Yeah. I was just preaching. Nobody bought anything at the parade.”
Me: “Okay, then.”
I would not be a good wife if I didn’t milk his half-asleep drunken nonsense for all it’s worth. To wit:
Beau (answering phone):”Hey, baby.”
Me: “Hi, I’m calling because I’m curious as to whether or not anyone bought anything at the parade.”
Or:
“You know, I was at the parade, and I didn’t see anything worth buying.”
Or:
“I know I’m just preaching, but you should really consider picking your clothes up off the floor.”
This is what marriage is all about, isn’t it?
i HATE when nobody buys anything at the parade!
I really wanted to buy a thingamagig but I had no cash and they only take cash at the parade.
Definitely what marriage is all about. Also about letting the other person put their freezing cold hands/feet on you to get warm.
Wait! You went to a parade? Without me?!
yes. that is exactly what it’s about!