Things the previous homeowner left behind; an incomplete list:

  • A very long hose
  • Several nearly empty bags of potting soil 
  • Two cardboard boxes and a roll of bubble wrap
  • A broom handle with no broom
  • An orange extension cord
  • 3 sponges
  • An individually-wrapped grape Lifesaver 
  • Hand soap in the scent of “apricot sunshine”
  • Two black trash bags, one inside the house and one in the yard
  • A pebble on the kitchen counter
  • Two quarters
  • One penny 
  • A dusty vacuum cleaner in the basement
  • A dirty mop on the porch

  • Two damp bath towels
  • One damp washcloth
  • Two thirds of a giant plastic jug of something called “Diarex Acetone”
  • A new rake
  • A table, cut in half, I’m not sure how this even happened
  • A rusted muffler
  • A utility work light that says “FOR OUTDOOR USE ONLY” on the back but we used it indoors already because we are safety rulebreakers
  • Some empty cans of Pabst under the shrubs
  • A falling-down fence
  • 1.5 bags of red mulch
  • A propane grill, empty of propane
  • A Halloween Minnie and Mickey lawn sign, leaning in what I presume to be a drunken stupor because we also found…

  • Three bottles of Coors Light
  • Two bottles of Angry Orchard hard cider
  • One bottle of Fat Tire Amber Ale
  • A very dusty box of poker chips
  • A wind up radio from the American Red Cross 
  • A broken refrigerator
  • Scattered Cocoa Puffs in the cupboards
  • Dry elbow macaroni noodles behind the kitchen backsplash tile and can I get this guy on the phone because questions, I have so many of them
  • A baseball cap that says Minott’s Black Star Double Hopped Golden Lager
  • A clutch of wire hangers with empty drycleaning bags on
  • A tiny foot pedal-operated wastebasket
  • An industrial-sized roll of plastic cling wrap
  • An debit withdrawal authorization agreement with bank account numbers (!)
  • Sport spray sunblock, now with 2x protection
  • A Subaru key and fob 
  • Four sharpies, one red and three black
What have you found left behind in your homes? I still think the half-deflated oversized birthday balloon we found in the crawlspace of our last rental was pretty sweet.

The dumpster wasn't technically his to leave behind, but this is visible from the backyard and on a related note I've had TLC stuck in my head for three days now.