what was left

Things the previous homeowner left behind; an incomplete list:

  • A very long hose
  • Several nearly empty bags of potting soil 
  • Two cardboard boxes and a roll of bubble wrap
  • A broom handle with no broom
  • An orange extension cord
  • 3 sponges
  • An individually-wrapped grape Lifesaver 
  • Hand soap in the scent of “apricot sunshine”
  • Two black trash bags, one inside the house and one in the yard
  • A pebble on the kitchen counter
  • Two quarters
  • One penny 
  • A dusty vacuum cleaner in the basement
  • A dirty mop on the porch

  • Two damp bath towels
  • One damp washcloth
  • Two thirds of a giant plastic jug of something called “Diarex Acetone”
  • A new rake
  • A table, cut in half, I’m not sure how this even happened
  • A rusted muffler
  • A utility work light that says “FOR OUTDOOR USE ONLY” on the back but we used it indoors already because we are safety rulebreakers
  • Some empty cans of Pabst under the shrubs
  • A falling-down fence
  • 1.5 bags of red mulch
  • A propane grill, empty of propane
  • A Halloween Minnie and Mickey lawn sign, leaning in what I presume to be a drunken stupor because we also found…

  • Three bottles of Coors Light
  • Two bottles of Angry Orchard hard cider
  • One bottle of Fat Tire Amber Ale
  • A very dusty box of poker chips
  • A wind up radio from the American Red Cross 
  • A broken refrigerator
  • Scattered Cocoa Puffs in the cupboards
  • Dry elbow macaroni noodles behind the kitchen backsplash tile and can I get this guy on the phone because questions, I have so many of them
  • A baseball cap that says Minott’s Black Star Double Hopped Golden Lager
  • A clutch of wire hangers with empty drycleaning bags on
  • A tiny foot pedal-operated wastebasket
  • An industrial-sized roll of plastic cling wrap
  • An debit withdrawal authorization agreement with bank account numbers (!)
  • Sport spray sunblock, now with 2x protection
  • A Subaru key and fob 
  • Four sharpies, one red and three black
What have you found left behind in your homes? I still think the half-deflated oversized birthday balloon we found in the crawlspace of our last rental was pretty sweet.

The dumpster wasn't technically his to leave behind, but this is visible from the backyard and on a related note I've had TLC stuck in my head for three days now.

10 Responses to “what was left”

  1. I think the snacks and drinks were SUPER thoughtful! We got a 1990s Playboy VCR tape, a whole bunch of early 1900s school assignments (which were fucking amazing).

    • School assignments = super cool. We are starting to rip out some walls and I am hoping to find some old papers stuffed in there somewhere!

  2. We found a plastic woodpecker in the bushes outside, it was awesome until our dog chewed it’s head off. Oh well such is life. Our previous owners actually left us all of their cleaning products – weird but ok.

  3. KEG TREE.

    When I moved into my second place in Davis, the day we got the keys, we went inside and were opening things up, and when we pulled up the kitchen blinds, we realized there was a keg in the tree in the backyard. We thought this was awesome and decided to just leave it there.

    Sadly, the keg disappeared about a week later. The previous renters had been some frat-ish dudes who were good friends with the girls in the other half of the duplex. We think the girls let them in the backyard to reclaim their keg (and hence their deposit).

  4. Matchbox cars.
    Empty beer cans.
    Bad decorating choices.

  5. So, note to self in the event I buy a house – have cleaning thrown into the conditions. Got it.

  6. A 3 foot tall plastic penguin with a sign around his neck declaring his name, “Raul”.

  7. I wish I could remember everything that was left behind when we bought our house. Some things that stick out: rat poison (this was offsetting), slug bate, and little figurines in random places (still finding them around – one is of a dolphin with a ball on their nose that was above our laundry room door). Also, there’s this superstition that the old owner is supposed to leave a broom so that you can sweep out all of the bad energy and start afresh. You’re then to toss the broom. I guess a mop would do (?)

  8. Oh good lord. You are hilarious. I know what you’ve been going through; there are parts of our house (namely the back yard) that still resemble post-war Bosnia. Our house is “mostly done.” I should follow up with saying that my husband is great at completing about 86.4% of a task. I had, in the past, been able to go behind to finish the remaining 13.6% of tediousness, and he would marvel at his accomplishment. Fast forward a bit and along comes our son, who is just now a year old. So yeah the 13.6%s have been stacking up as I am, by default, the primary caregiver. It’s refreshing to see another person going through what I went (and continue to go) through. I wish we were friends in real life!

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