Dear Internet-Diary-Slash-Brain-Shavings-Collector, maybe I should share in this space that on Monday we closed on the house. 

The house, yeah, that house I was wringing my hands about last month. One and the same.

What happened was that the beau and I kinda liked the house, and nothing that happened during the inspection was enough to make us dislike the house. So we just kept plodding along until one sunny afternoon we took an elevator twelve stories up and sat down at a shiny mahogany-finished table opposite the seller, a bowl of miniature Twix and Skittles between us, and we signed eleven bajillionty forms that basically said we are financially fucked forever and eternity, amen.

I make it sound so glamorous, I know.

I am happy, but it all seems so Big and Serious and Responsible. I’ve had a knot in my stomach all week just thinking about the fact that there is now a pile of lumber sitting in northeast Denver with our names all over it, and that we are answerable for its care. We finally got the house keys on Wednesday — because of a weird Colorado law, a seller can stay in the home up to 48 hours after the transfer of ownership — and when we went inside I crept about in terrified apprehension. Like my very presence would disturb the air molecules and set off a chain reaction that would result in the walls caving in. Brick and mortar crumpling and disintegrating like a water-soaked tissue.

Houses are so tender and frail, you guys.

I think one thing that’s holding me back from being properly thrilled is the sheer amount of work in front of us. This house is a fixer, guys. To start we need to:

  • Scrape popcorn ceilings in two front rooms, entryway, and upstairs hallway
  • Rip out carpeting on entryway and stairs
  • Scrape vinyl tile under carpet in entryway
  • Repair/replace hardwood floors
  • Tear out two walls
  • Open up a drywalled-over window in the kitchen
  • Rearrange the kitchen and sort out new counters and appliances
  • Repair the built-in shelving in the dining area
  • Fix up the stairs
  • Replace the broken tile around the fireplace
  • Repair uneven walls
  • Paint every closet, ceiling, and wall
  • Add crown moulding
  • Fix the grading and downspouts
  • Rip out two trees that are growing too close to the foundation

That is just phase 1, too. There are so many more things to do in phase 2, including a total yard overhaul, building a garage, and renovating the bathrooms.

Pride will grow with every drop of blood, sweat, and tears spilled on this place, I’m sure. For now, though, I am tenuous; lurking and stalking the shadows of the property and trembling like a leaf.

We’re moving in at the end of July. Between now and then we’ll be spending every night and weekend at the new place, prepping and scraping and demoing in the summer swamp heat.

Wish me luck?

18 Responses to “sold”

  1. All the luck in the world!

    It’s not like you have to do it all at once and immediately and by Monday your house will be perfect, you have time. Because it’s yours.

    I’m sorry if the scary is keeping you up at night, as I understand it that’s kind of normal.

    As my Spanish wife would say: VIVAAAAAAAAAAA! (This means ‘yay!’ and general excitement.)

    (I just noticed I’m on your blogroll and this made me very excited and happy.)

  2. I loooove the house #’s above the door. Love. Congrats!

  3. All the luck, Lyn!!!

  4. Wishing you all the luck. On the bright side, the house is already adorable so it can only get better from here, right?

  5. Good luck! Get as much done as possible before you move in! This has been everybody’s advice to us, because it’s so much easier to make repairs to a house you don’t live in. I’ve also been recommended this blog and it certainly makes some aspects of home improvement pretty entertaining to read about, so might make for a nice break.

  6. Also, did you have the popcorn ceiling tested for asbestos? Because apparently that’s a thing.

    • Yeahhhhhhhh we didn’t get it tested but are treating it like it does. Why did they put that crap in so much stuff?

  7. Who drywalls over a window?! Clearly, the previous owners were insane.

  8. Welcome to the club!

  9. Take a bazillion before pictures. Trust me. I’m really upset that I don’t have more of the Idaho house. (And I clearly remedied that by taking, no joke, 500 of the Colorado property….)

    It’s an adorable old place that will shine with some love (even if it happens over the course of years).

  10. Good luck!! I wish they made houses like that over here. It’s so cute it almost hurts to look at it.

    I also wish my firm had miniature twixes and skittles at meetings. We’re clearly missing a trick.

    • Aw, thanks. And yeah, I stuffed about a dozen miniatures in my pockets when I left. You gotta milk it when it comes.

  11. Congrats! And good luck!
    Your new home is lovely, I’m ridiculously jealous from the picture and the list of all the work you get to do to it.

  12. Congrats! I am happy for you guys…

  13. I love the house!!!

    So we had to scrape off popcorn ceilings, and I found the best thing to be a spray bottle full of warm water with a dab of white vinegar. Spray that on, scrape off with a putty knife. Ours came off in fun sheets that were a great bridal-veil farce.

  14. I like that house. Congratulations!

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