mind, lost

I guess Monday is the day that I get all the catalogs. Because I opened the post box on Monday afternoon and it was like, BOOM. Explosion of LOOK OMG THINGS YOU CAN BUY!

I pulled them out, lugged them to the kitchen table, and picked one up at random. The one I selected was Uncommon Goods, which is basically a booklet-sized repository of products that are meant to pique the interest of overeducated Pinterest-obsessed hipster-yuppie helicopter parents. Like I was saying:

That’s right, you guys. BPA- and phthalate-free! So your baby can remain toxin-free while even whilst copping the look of a frat boy! [Popped collar not included.]

So I’m snickering and riffling through the pages when I see this:

At first I was like… what is even happening in this world? No, seriously. I need to know. Because the fact that someone actually wrote marketing copy that included the phrase “kitty will be set to drop a beat” was enough to make me want to lie down on the living room floor and reassess my beliefs. 

But the more I stared at it, the more sense it started to make. Yes, yes. I could see a cat being a DJ. A cat would make a great DJ! I mean, look at this thing:

No, like, REALLY look. Gaze deeply:

DEEPER:

Now tell me: how is this not a meme?

Maybe I’ve simply been working too much lately, and so my tethers in reality are a little wiggly, but the answer is I DON’T FUCKING KNOW. So naturally, I set out to address this immediately.

 And of course, what’s the point of memes if they don’t include other memes?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO PARTICIPATE? I’m absolutely sure you won’t! In fact, I bet you’re totally giving me the side-eye right now, like: I didn’t come here for cat pictures, lady, get back to regularly scheduled wordsmithery. But just in case, I am giving you two files: one with the same club background as seen above, and one that’s just the cat isolated on a transparent background. Download and do what you will with them, just link back or email to me so I can see the results.

What are you losing your mind over lately?

14 Responses to “mind, lost”

  1. Let’s run away together, please and thank you.

  2. OMG I’ve never contributed to a meme before. I’m having a little performance anxiety, can you come back to me?

    • Just so you guys know, I really expect no one to participate. I just thought I’d give the option!

      That said, if you ever do come up with something, I’d DIEEEE to see it.

  3. Best thing I’ve seen all day. Let’s make this a thing, yes?

  4. You may be the funniest human being on the planet.

  5. THE LAST TWO. CHRIST ALMIGHTY.
    *ded*

  6. I ::heart:: DJ Wizkrz. I tried to think of things he would have on his playlist but didn’t get any further than “Lovecats” by the Cure.

  7. Yeah, that last one especially is replete with win. Thanks!

  8. Holy smokes, DJ Wizkrz is awesome. Clearly, he needs a tumblr. Also, he needs to be mixed with the Hillary Clinton meme. “Scrunchy Time.” The creation of photoshopped memes is beyond my ken, so I will leave it to you to make that happen.

    This post reminds me: Back in my pre-kid days, I had a raggedy looking yorkie-poodle (he looked like an oversized rat terrier) who always wanted his head hanging out of the window. Because I was already a helicopter parent, I bought him a pair of these: http://www.burleson-arabians.com/images/noel_doggles1.jpg

    One day, we were driving around West Hollywood in a red convertible, with my dog chillin’ in his Doggles, when tourists snapped his photo at 4 different stop lights.

    • I had no idea you had a doggie! Or that he wore Doggles! THAAAAAAT is an awesome story.

      • I lost him in the divorce. His name is Bob. I don’t get to dogsit him anymore when the ex goes on vacation because Bob likes me and Tony better, and the ex didn’t like that so much.

  9. oh dear god. i love you today, lyn.

  10. Oh my god.

    Best thing in my day.

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