great expectations

2012. Ehhhh.

I was dreading the new year. In fact I still am, because come on. A year featuring a presidential election and end-of-the-world mania? A year in which our grasp of civil liberties grows more tenuous and Katy Perry is slated to perform at the Grammys? And on top of all that we continue to be obligated to behave like responsible adults?

Marvelous. Sign me up.

I’m one of those smug pricks who don’t do resolutions. I gave those up years ago, like I gave up on wearing pants. Both are simply too restrictive. Instead of resolutions, I prefer to take a few moments and reflect on my expectations for the new year. Many of them are old standbys. Some are new. Some are — in the bright shiny spirit of self-improvement — somewhat higher expectations than put forward in previous years.

Here’s what I expect to do in 2012:

  • Eat well.
  • Drink well.
  • Frolic with fervor.
  • Speak up when I disagree.
  • Chase birds until they fly away.
  • Put more time and thought into wrapping gifts.
  • Avoid using the word “fat” as a descriptor.
  • Stare at people in other cars.
  • Dye my hair.
  • Use my words.
  • Embrace occasional bouts of belligerence.
  • Sleep in.
  • Be disappointed.
  • Be wasteful.
  • Scrimp and save.
  • Suck it up.
  • Smile when I don’t want to.
  • Go to the doctor and the dentist for the first time in years. [Sidebar: AUUUGHHH]
  • Mock people who drive cars that can park themselves.
  • Pass on the right.
  • Experiment.
  • Be enthusiastic.
  • Be a shut-in.
  • Apologize for my behavior.
  • Drink during the day.
  • Avoid politics.
  • Meow at cats.
  • Bock at my husband.
  • Think about babies.
  • Think about moving.
  • Sneer at tourists.
  • Be a tourist.
  • Be reasonable.
  • Complain loudly.
  • Use the words “amazing” and “awesome” sparingly.
  • Listen to songs and cry.
  • Replace song lyrics with the beau’s name.
  • Endeavor to accept the way my face looks in the mirror.
  • Call my sister-cousin.
  • Seek out dim sum.
  • Continue to dislike monkeys.

Spill. What are your expectations?

11 Responses to “great expectations”

  1. Does ‘Have baby, watch life implode’ count as an expectation? Because that’s all I got.

  2. I expect that I will not accomplish nearly half of what I plan to, and that my garden this year will be pest-infested and disease ridden, because last year was just too damn good to last. Otherwise, I’m not holding my breath for anything 🙂

  3. Ugh. I wish I had happy expectations, but, alas, I am Eeyore. I could tell you what I expect, but since it’s not a nice list of happy, I’m keeping it to myself. Is it too late to say, Bah Humbug?

  4. I don’t do resolutions either because I can’t stand not achieving goals. If I have no goals, I can’t fail and therefore can’t be mad at myself, right? At least that is my logic.

  5. I’m not doing resolutions either, because they always make me feel guilty when I fail. BUT I got two books for Christmas/my birthday that have been inspiring me to do some things differently: Gretchen Rubin’s “The Happiness Project” (I know, I’m late on this bandwagon, but it’s still so good!), and Alice Waters’ “The Art of Simple Food.” The Happiness Project chapter I read yesterday said to take the time to do something fun – so I am trying to fit some art or reading into each day; and the Simple Food book inspired me to cook a little more, instead of eating frozen things. It’s not THAT hard and it really is delicious! So reading is good, art is fun, and food is yummy. Happy 2012.

  6. I expect to have at least one sobbing breakdown over my inability to find an adequate South African replacement for some basic American consumable good, like frangrance-free dryer sheets or Little Debbie snack cakes. BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT IN LIFE.

    • Oh, I understand this. Mine is Cheez-its. Luckily dryer sheets and little Debbies would be not too heavy to be mailed in care packages. 🙂 Do they still make Global Priority flat rate envelopes for about $10 or so? Those were SO appreciated in my years abroad post-college. My dad sent me Kraft Mac and Cheese, microwave popcorn, and other things I missed at the time and couldn’t find where I was living. Thankfully today it seems easier to find products, even internationally. Good luck!

  7. Why less biting? Why not MORE biting?

  8. Less biting sounds good.

    Experiment is also on my list.

  9. Mooooooore biting. Yes. Adding it to my list that includes sleeping 8 continuous hours and being skinny again. And awesome and amazing.

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