I have a giant, hulking canister of herbal sweetener that sits on a shelf above the kitchen counter, next to the bottle of vodka.
Guess which one I invariably reach for every morning?
I just read those two sentences over and realized that it sounds like I put vodka in my coffee on a regular basis, but whatever. I don’t know how to change it without taking the funny out of it, which I have effectively done via this explanation.
In the meantime, here is an entirely unrelated photo of me and my cousin that actually probably explains a lot: