i don’t think there are enough apologies for this post, not to mention the fact that i actually published it

So, guys. I try not to be a blogger who’s like, HEY WHAT’S UP NOT MUCH JUST THINGS YOU KNOW and then tosses in a few pictures and runs away. But that is exactly what is about to happen here. You have been forewarned.

Because, guys! I went to the hair salon today, and I think looking at angsty self-portraits from back when I had short hair really influenced me, because the first thing I did when I sat down in the stylist’s chair was say, I HATE IT CHOP IT ALL OFF. Just like that. It’s been a real capital-letters-and-no-punctuation kind of day, if you’re wondering.

And so just like that, the hair was gone.

The first thing I did when I got home was announce to the beau, “I want to show all my internet friends!” Because apparently I have no actual in-person friends anymore. Congratulations, I have advanced to the next level of nerdom.

So for my internet friends, here is my hair. Sorry about the shitty flash photos. It is night and I am indoors, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME.

The right side. Nice touch that the beau has my blog post from Monday on his computer screen. IT WAS FATE.

The left side! And Huron Avenue!

The back. And the fact that I still have a string of Christmas lights hanging over the mantel STOP LOOKING AT THAT.

I like to call it my reverse-mullet hair: all party up front, all business in the back. Actually, no. I don’t like to call it my reverse-mullet hair, because I came up with that term just now, as I was typing. So a more accurate statement would be to say that from this point on, I will take great enjoyment in calling it my reverse-mullet hair.

And believe it or not, this small handful of photos required that I take about 13,000 less-than-desirable photographs first. For example, this:

Yeah, I can believe that.

What else is happening? Work is stupid busy right now, which means I haven’t had time to write here. The company buyout was supposed to be finalized last week, which means I had dreams of being unemployed and in my pajamas1 this week, but then the whole thing got pushed back for yet another month and so now I’m rushing to get all the work done that wasn’t done before because we all thought THERE WOULD BE NO MORE WORK FOREVER. And I’d had a job lead that I thought was solid but now they’re not returning my calls or emails and I’m starting to do that thing where I gaze at myself in the mirror and ask why? Why don’t they like me? Was it something I said? Was it the length of my hair? What? And maybe just in case it is my hair I should send them one of the pictures above and be like see, no really, I HAVE CHANGED, PLEASE TAKE ME BACK.

Also, tonight I made a casserole. This is significant, because I never cook anything that can’t just be heated in a toaster oven or liquified in a blender. I am just trying to be a good wife! Because thanks to ALL OF HISTORY I can’t even make a simple caretaking gesture for my family without smacking my head on some low-hanging traditional gender roles. And I can’t even do the simple caretaking thing all that well, because I RUINED THE FUCKING RICE, ALL IT WAS WAS RICE AND MILK AND SOME CONDENSED FUCKING SOUP AND I FUCKED IT UP.

And with that, I have met my weekly limit of swearing and capslock abuse.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go design something based on the instructions to “make it look like NASCAR.” This is exactly what I had in mind when I decided to get into the graphic arts.

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1 Sorry, I meant “solidly employed and earning a steady paycheck like a valuable member of society.” That one.

31 Responses to “i don’t think there are enough apologies for this post, not to mention the fact that i actually published it”

  1. You look gorgeous! I’d like to know how you’re going to “make it look like NASCAR.” Maybe add Keystone, real mullets, and left turns?

  2. I am jealous of your hair.

    That is all.

  3. Oh phew, it’s not just me who feels the internet friend presence more than the real-friend presence these days. I find myself doing things because “at least I’ll be able to write about this.” Or thinking “hm, nothing to blog about, I guess I better get off the couch and go screw something up so I can write about it.”

    And you look fabulous with that haircut!

  4. Gender roles, schmender roles. You’ve got a new fierce haircut. Y-to the ES.

  5. I love your hair. It’s so great!

    I’m getting a cut tonight, and while mine’s already kind of short, I’m going shorter. It’s like an addiction. How short can I go?

  6. Love the hair! Totally send in a photo to the potential-job-offering people. I really think it could change minds.
    I’ve also had a reverse mullet, except my hair has about the same amount of volume as… well an empty cup… so the party in the front was the lamest ever. Like a party that only serves orange juice and carrot sticks.

    • Right? I think that they will be able to see from my new hair that I am clearly the right candidate for the job.

      I never want to go to a party like that. I am sorry your hair had to attend it.

  7. Things that are true:
    1. Your haircut is rad
    2. I will totally be sharing my future dramatic haircuts with Internet friends.

  8. LMFAO I do that. Just this morning I was talking with C about “My internet friend—-” and he’s just gotten so used to it that he doesn’t even roll his eyes anymore. Because when he first did that I had a caps lock no punctuation attack of I MOVED HERE WHERE YOU LIVE AND I DONT KNOW ANYONE AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE GREAT BUT THEYRE YOUR FRIENDS AND YOURE LUCKY IM MAKING INTERNET FRIENDS AND NOT STRIPPING AT THE GAS STATION OUT OF BOREDOM BECAUSE THEN ID BE RICH TOO!!!

    Your haircut gives me tinglies.

  9. Of COURSE my internet friends are taking over from my I-Can-Actually-Talk-To-You-In-Person friends because they’re all busy and only talk to me via twitter and facebook anyway.

    (Also, I keep wanting to send wedding invitations to my internet friends and have to remind myself that I’ve never met them in person so that would be weird. But since we’ve met, I’m totally sending you an invitation so you can eat yummy cake with us.)

    Also, I love your hair and I want it for my own self.

    • Oh, THANK GOD you said that, Sarah. We put together our guest lists this weekend and I so wanted to add all of you awesome friends on the internet. And then I figured that’s stalkerish and C would have spun his head around. I still kind of want to, though. Only seems right.

      Damn me and my living too far from the Blogger Meetup!

  10. Love the new do. Love.

    And considering I have NO FRIENDS IN CHARLOTTE, all I’ve got are you people. Thank GOD. Face to face interaction can be SO overrated.

  11. I loooooooooooove it. LOVE IT. This looks just like my absolute favorite haircut of all time, that happened in Spain. Alas, I did not have the language skills to request the same haircut again. I should have brought a photo like this. Because this is 100% awesome. And maybe the next interviewer will see your 100% awesome hair and think they 100% need to hire you? It could happen…

  12. now i want to cut my hair.
    and hug you.
    or give you high fives for being awesome.

  13. My internet friends are taking over. But since most of them are way cooler than my “real” friends anyway, I kind of don’t mind.

    Also, your hair cut is supercute. My flat, straight hair wouldn’t look like that if I promised it a million dollars and a 2 week vacation to Bora Bora.

    • Yeah, that’s what I thought about mine. It’s fine and thin and limp. But with this cut and some product, it just floofed out. If only someone could now deliver me the million dollars and Bora Bora vacation…

  14. OMG, you have the hair I want (and can never have). And the eyes, for that matter. (Is that creepy? I don’t mean to be creepy….)

  15. I thought the exact same thing when I saw your angsty pic! Well done – you look awesome.

  16. you are ROCKING the hair.
    isaiah’s last job was like that. “Should we have a monster in the ad?” “SHOULD WE HAVE A MONSTER IN THE AD?! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!?”
    you look beautiful, lyn!

  17. I love the hair, LOVE IT! That would be my dream hair if I didn’t have stick straight Asian hair. But I do, so I basically have that cut but sharper/straighter. I think it makes my neck look lovely and long and frames my face without irritating my neck.

  18. I am impressed with your cool haircut. I am very boring when it comes to my hair due to it being semi-curly when it’s long, but getting poofy and not too curly when I cut it above shoulder-length. And I am probably still a bit risk-adverse due to one reeeeeally bad haircut I had when I was sixteen that resulted in tears. My solution to this new way-too-layered haircut was to wear my hair in a French braid for a week or two. Finally, a friend did an intervention and taught me how to scrunch my hair with mousse. Then it only looked like I was a sixteen year old business woman. Haha.

  19. AWESOME! your hair is so cool! also, don’t feel lame. I am always psyched to tell my internet friends everything too :)

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