The thing about my job is that sometimes I am asked to find stock imagery for clients to use on their websites or collateral. Some might regard this as a mind-numbing task, but in this age of fiscal austerity, it's the closest thing to a company perk that I can get anymore.
So we were at a friend's wedding.
Fine, it was technically the night before the wedding, and we were at a hotel. Details.
I don't know what your friends are like, but mine are generally drunkards. I imagine most people have very dignified ways of going about socializing. I imagine most people sitting up very straight while drinking tea, the corners of their mouths curling demurely around their cups as they exchange warmhearted pleasantries with dear pals, laughter as gentle as the tinkling of a spoon in a saucer. Then it's to bed by 8:30 p.m. sharp because goodness, one needs one's rest. Doesn't one?
Today was one of those days that could pass for a plotline in a Cathy comic strip. Witness the following themes:
I was late for work! Let me tell you something: I have zero personal time management skills. For all my grinding, churning internal cynicism, when it comes to the clock I am an eternal optimist. I can be buck naked out of the shower, glance at the time, and calculate that I can do my skincare routine, dress, apply eye makeup and fix my hair, scrounge for food in the kitchen, make coffee, pack up my computer, put on my shoes and coat, and be out the door in under five minutes flat. "I'll be gone by 8:30, no problem!" I'll crow to myself, still toweling off even as the minute hand ticks over to 8:27. You know what? This isn't even optimism. I'm the victim of my own twisted god complex which causes me to believe I can simply conjure spare time out of thin air. That I can bend physical laws to my will!
Spoiler alert: I CAN'T.
i don’t think there are enough apologies for this post, not to mention the fact that i actually published it
So, guys. I try not to be a blogger who's like, HEY WHAT'S UP NOT MUCH JUST THINGS YOU KNOW and then tosses in a few pictures and runs away. But that is exactly what is about to happen here. You have been forewarned.
Because, guys! I went to the hair salon today, and I think looking at angsty self-portraits from back when I had short hair really influenced me, because the first thing I did when I sat down in the stylist's chair was say, I HATE IT CHOP IT ALL OFF. Just like that. It's been a real capital-letters-and-no-punctuation kind of day, if you're wondering.
And so just like that, the hair was gone.
The first thing I did when I got home was announce to the beau, "I want to show all my internet friends!" Because apparently I have no actual in-person friends anymore. Congratulations, I have advanced to the next level of nerdom.