The other week, Beau came home after work with newly-shorn hair and a look of deep concern on his face. "I need you to take a picture of me," he said.
"Listen," I replied. "You're going to need to stop making profiles on dating sites. We're married. It's done. No more fresh ling-ling for your dangle."
"I'm not trying to date anybody, jerk," he said. "I need a photo for my LinkedIn profile."
"Oh, so now you're exclusively dating businesspeople."
"Just. Take. A picture."