another damn life

mindless

I'm painting right now.

I hate painting right now.

I hate painting every day. There are so many days to paint. One, two, three, four, all of them. 

People ask me sometimes, they ask me. They say: "You done painting yet?" Then I rip their faces off, with my eyes because I'm not a monster. 

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Tags: Category: creative, everyday life

the defense rests

A fun thing I do all day long is defend whatever I'm doing to the detractors in my head. I thought maybe if I blogged about the things my imaginary detractors are most vocal about of late that I would stop having to explain myself to them so often, but actually what will probably happen instead is that I'll go in the shower and lay my forehead against the cool tile and quietly regret publishing this.

Quiet regret, yes sir, I like to keep my regret at a low volume so it doesn't bother the neighbors.

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Tags: Category: everyday life

If'n you ruined it, a mimosa will fix it

haus report: six months

We recently passed the half-year anniversary of buying a house. I celebrated by dressing the house in a "6 months" onesie and I'm just absolutely sick that I didn't get a picture.

One of the most unsettling things about being a homeowner is also, I imagine, one of the most unsettling things about being a parent: the constant fear that you're making the wrong decisions.

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Tags: Category: house, Uncategorized

Back in October we went to a CU-Ducks game and the main thing I remember from the experience, besides stashing a bottle of whiskey outside the stadium and it miraculously still being there after the game, was watching the CU mascot, a Buffalo, twerk in the end zone

the art of storytelling

There are lots of problems with professional sports. The sheer volume of attention and money we pour into them instead of into social issues, for one. The career-ending, life-diminishing injuries suffered by the players, for another. The massively inflated egos, sure.

But what got me watching sports and kept me watching were the stories.

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Tags: , Category: musings, Uncategorized

opening

a wednesday in four parts

Wednesday, part one

My inner circle encompasses two people with back-to-back birthdays, one on the last day of January and one on the first day of February, and so this week I had the weighty responsibility of sending two birthday cards. I understand that postal carriers will pick up any mail you leave sitting inside your mailbox, but I've never quite been able to trust that the mail will find its way back to the post office and not instead into a puddle, or the jaws of a fearsome ankle-nipping chihuahua, or deep between the seat cushions of the truck. 

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Tags: Category: everyday life

brick

a different city

One of my favorite pastimes, outside of plotting what to eat next and furtively watching my neighbors from my windows, is sorting out what exactly makes a given place different from other places. There's climate and topography, sure, but there's also dialect, food, culture, and retail. During our UK trip I was so excited to go into a Tesco for the first time that I still have the plastic shopping bags, which uhhhh is probably more enthusiasm for different experiences than strictly necessary.

Let's not talk about what I did the first time I saw a Piggly-Wiggly.

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Tags: Category: musings

That's not a book, Strummer.

well read

I don't read.

Well, I can. I do. I read articles on the internet, and blogs. I read the backs of food packets, and recipes. I read road signs. I read my mail.

I don't read books.

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Tags: Category: musings

Scene from Chicago

just a reflection of a reflection

We're entering into that special time of year of reflection, and I don't mean leaning into the mirror before your New Year's party and futilely picking at your face.

Or maybe that is what I mean, because FACE, why you always act out when my visage will be most visible to the general public?

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Tags: , Category: musings

top tips & tricks for feelings-free festivities

Ah, the holidays. There's nothing like celebrating these special, precious moments with your nearest and dearest.

Until those special, precious moments are terrorized by feelings. Shockingly, 17 in 12 Americans will suffer feelings this season. Some may take days — even weeks — at home in bed with Netflix to recover.

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Tags: Category: nonsense

Explosion illustration by John Seares Riley

4 impractical gifts i invented while trying to think of real gifts

I'll tell you something about the beau, he is wildly predictable. In theory this makes it easy to give him gifts, but it also makes for some shockingly limited options. There are only so many quirky robots-fighting-dinosaurs t-shirts I can get him before I start questioning my abilities as a gift-giver. Have I grown complacent? Have I lost my creative spark? Was I... was I just never that good to begin with?

Don't answer that.

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Tags: , Category: nonsense

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